


One More Use for the Golden Snitch

by Lonov



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, EWE, Horniness, Masturbating, Other, PWP, Post-War, Sex Toys, Single Harry - Freeform, Smut, Tenga Egg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:35:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23737687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lonov/pseuds/Lonov
Summary: Harry has an interesting new idea for a sex toy.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter (if you squint), Harry Potter/Golden Snitch
Kudos: 37





	One More Use for the Golden Snitch

**Author's Note:**

> Did I just write my first fanfiction in six years about a smutty crack shipping between Harry Potter and the Golden Snitch? Yes I did, and you're welcome.

The idea first came to Harry while he was walking through Muggle London.

He had just passed a sex shop when he paused in the street. He generally averted his gaze when he saw sex shops, a remnant from growing up with Mrs. Dursley, who would scream, "Dudders, _look away!"_ and cover Dudley's eyes anytime they happened to pass one — all the while glaring at Harry to let him know that if he so much as glanced at the window display, he'd have no dinner that night. These days Harry was far from prudish, but some habits died harder than others.

His general aversion to sex shops probably worked in his favor, anyway: _The Daily Prophet_ might not have attacked him since the war had ended, but several times a week they still acted like a tabloid trying to make money off of his celebrity. Harry was sure they would be thrilled to plaster the headline, "HARRY POTTER SEEKING SEX" with a moving photo of himself walking around in a shop like that. And he was sure the hoards of middle-aged witches who sent him enormous amounts of fan mail ever since _Witch Weekly_ had given him the Most Charming Smile Award would be most interested in the information that Harry was horny enough to go hunting for sex toys.

But something had caught his eyes in the shop window. Before Harry could convince himself it was a bad idea he stepped closer to the building to avoid the oncoming onslaught of people walking down the sidewalk, puzzling over what had just popped into his mind.

In the shop's window, beside the mannequins wearing lacy lingerie and modeling strap-ons and next to the collection of dildos being advertised, was what looked like a carton of six small, colorful eggs. According to their packaging, it was a set of Tenga Eggs. A sign in front of it read, "Men Masturbate Better with _this_ vibrating toy!"

Harry had heard of sex toys like these before. It was a vibrator for men, the shape of an egg so that it could easily fit in the palm of someone's hand while they masturbated or gave a handjob. He'd never tried one himself, but for the first time, he wondered if he should give it a try. He had been rather lonely lately, going through a dry spell, and he welcomed any toy that could make his daily masturbation sessions, which had grown boring, stand out.

What was more, something about the shape of the toy had given Harry a very interesting idea, indeed...

_Am I insane?_ Harry wondered. A tiny voice in the back of his head replied, _Or are you genius?_

Without another thought, Harry decided he was about to find out.

He hurried to the nearest alleyway. Behind him, London was bustling with people, but down this dark street he was alone. With one last glance around the ensure nobody saw him, Harry Disapparated.

He had been living in Grimmauld Place since the end of the war, and by this point he was used to the house's odd charm. Upon entering the home, he was careful not to stir the portrait of Sirius' mum, or to alert Kreacher to the fact that he was home. He didn't want to deal with either of them right now. No, he only had one thing on his mind...

Harry reached the room where he slept — Sirirus' old bedroom — and dug around in the closet for his old school trunk. He still had every snitch he'd ever caught at Hogwarts, except the Snitch he had opened the night he had died, which he had never been able to relocate in the Forbidden Forest.

He pulled one of the old Snitches from his bag, and its wings fluttered hopefully, clearly excited for the chance to move around again.

Collapsing on his bed, Harry looked the Snitch over. Snitches were designed to be immune to spellwork to prevent being tampered with, but spells didn't last forever. This Snitch had been enchanted at least ten years prior, and it was looking a bit worse for wear after being at the bottom of his trunk for so long. 

He tapped it with his wand and muttered, " _Invibratum!"_

Much to his surprise, it worked. The Snitch began to vibrate. 

"Er, okay," Harry muttered, feeling a bit awkward. With one hand on the Snitch, he took his cock out of the jeans he had been wearing around Muggle London.

As soon as he pressed the vibrating ball against his cock, it felt heavenly.

"Merlin," Harry muttered, moving the Snitch around. He wanted it on every inch on him. It felt so good, and so different from his normal masturbation sessions, that Harry almost whooped.

Slowly he lowered it to his balls, curious to feel it buzzing there, and hummed with pleasure.

It was near-perfect. The only thing he needed was a cock in his arse, a fat cock stretching him open, to make this the most perfect sensation he could think of.

At that thought, Harry's breathing hitched. That would do it, he thought, that was all he needed to push him over the edge, the thought of a man bending him over and giving it to him hard. A tall, thin man with flaxen hair, a pointed face that was constantly sneering, and a despicable belief in Pure-Blood superiority...

The orgasm that hit him was blinding; Harry was sure he cried out but he had no idea what he'd said. Squeezing every drop of hot cum into his hand, he rode out his earth-shattering orgasm and collapsed with bliss.

Somehow, embarrassingly, fantasizing about Malfoy always brought him over the edge.

Peering one eye open, he looked at the Snitch, which was still vibrating animatedly.

" _Finite Incantatum,_ " he muttered, tapping it again with his wand, and the Snitch became motionless.

Harry didn't stuff it back into the bottom of his trunk; instead, he tucked it away into his bedside drawer. He wasn't going to kid himself: he would be taking the Golden Snitch back out again very soon.

"Oh, god," Harry muttered with a laugh, hardly able to believe what he had just done — and how good it had felt. "I need to get laid."


End file.
